[Ry's Journal] TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2016 - 5:43 PM (WATCH TIME):

TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 2016 - 5:43 PM (WATCH TIME):

Working at Safeway was a dismal failure for a number of reasons, though I do admit that most of those reasons source from a great deal of poor forethought on my part.  Looking back, I realize that a great many of my assumptions that proved damaging when it came to handling the job could have been avoided had I exercised any kind of logic at all.  I mean, seriously, what was I thinking, assuming just because as a customer my cart-handling skills were superb, that somehow it would be up to the standard of professional work?

Bagging was no better.  Sure, just because in theory bagging is a simple, logical operation does not mean that the realities of customers' purchasing decisions would or even could fit into the neat little patterns of my imagining.  Sweeping the store sounds easy, but when you factor in the scale and the time limitations that would be necessary to keep such a task up-to-date in a busy store, suddenly it becomes a lot more complicated.  Price checks, sure -- until you examine the shelves.

Good grief, any and all of this consternation could have been avoided if I simply considered the differences in scale expected in professional work.  I would have not have gone for the Courtesy Clerk position had I expended even a modicum of thought to the task of applying for the job.  Whether there was any other position compatible with my skills at the time, I do not really know -- but at least I should have thought twice about applying for the job I actually did.

Of course, a lack of research on the job I was applying for was only the first step on my road to foolishness.  Truth be told, my handling of my first professional job was a disaster at best, a train wreck it took me well over a month to see coming my way.  Habits built up over years of living as an absent-minded student came to bite me in the arse, and instead of realizing that a change of habits was in order, I simply clung to my outmoded ideals tighter, falling into emotional meltdown after emotional meltdown as I discovered repeatedly that they did not work in true reality.

Of course, all this sordid sob story led to a certain amount of discomfort in the management.  As the weeks went by and the stress mounted up, my constant feeling of not being good enough broke out more and more often.  They did their best with me, reducing my job duties, shifting my hours, taking me aside to try to help me out of my funk . . . but there are "none so blind as those who will not see," and so I failed to see their efforts to help me as what they were.  In the end, I abruptly threw up my hands and quit -- no forewarning or anything like that.

In my foolish fear of never being up to the job, even though I had improved dramatically over the month or so I'd been working, I let my fear become a reality.  Worse, I made that fear become a reality, rather than simply letting it happen at its own pace.  I cut off every opportunity the job offered me and ran away.

So, what are the lessons that can be learned from this foolish tale?  Well, first of all, consider the realities of a job before taking it.  Just a little forethought could have gone a long way to preventing any messy situation.  Second, never assume that habits established for the convenience of one system will ever work for another.  And third, never let emotions get the better of you.  Reason things out before making hasty decisions, and try to see what's really around you rather than what your emotions color them as.  Any of these things could have gone a long way to preventing this disaster.

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